I actually posted this on my Livejournal back then in 2010, but I thought I would repost this with some bits edited.
My weight started being brought to my attention probably ever since grade 7 or so. My best friend at the time would always tell me about how she was jealous that I was skinny. She wasn’t fat, at all. Maybe because her parents compared our weight or maybe a lot of girls at her junior school were my size, I’m not sure. Whatever it was though, getting to my weight became sort of an obsession for her.
For myself, I was never interested in my weight – at least not in the way most people are. I had checked it often when I was young (elementary age) just to know. It was just an innocent thing for me to do. When we were in elementary we would call each other and ask what the other person’s weight was and that would be that. We didn’t say things like, “That’s so much!” or “That’s too low!” It was literally just a number.
As we grew older, however, things changed. People started to become uncomfortable announcing their weight. It was not just any random number on the scale anymore. Now it defines if we’re skinny or if we’re fat, but most importantly, if our weight is socially accepted.
I’m being fully honest when I say that for a period of time I didn’t check my weight on the scale at home for years. I usually knew what it was off by heart. My weight always fluctuated between a pair of numbers and it never goes past or below those two numbers. I was content with my weight.
Things took a turn somewhere close to my high school years. My boyfriend at the time said I was a little underweight. He told me that I should gain some weight to become “healthy skinny”. Apparently there’s a fine line for most people between healthy skinny and too skinny and also healthy skinny and a bit chubby.
In recent years what I was once fine with now became yet another thing I had to become self-conscious about. I’m truly on the fence about the whole topic of being skinny. I never know if I should be offended or gracious when people decide to mention my weight. I already know that I’m skinny.
It’s interesting how people have no qualms when saying things to me like, “You’re like a stick!!” or “Oh my God! You should eat more!!” or even “You’re so skinny!! Do you even eat?!” No I lick trees as a meal ::X_X::..
I’ve noticed some things over the years though..
1) I’ve never heard these sorts of comments from “healthy skinny” people – whatever that is.
2) It’s weird that they say those sorts of things to me, but almost in the same breath, some of them then talk about how they’re trying to lose weight or want to lose weight.
So I’m curious, do some people just feel the need to pick on my weight because they themselves are not entirely happy with their own weight? I’ve had people ask me for my weight before and then say, “Yeah that’s too skinny. My goal weight is to be xx.” But why would you have to put down my weight when you’re not at your ideal weight either? How is it fair that you put my weight down? Or is it okay to say that I’m a stick and assume I never eat because it’s only okay to talk about people being skinny because most women aim to be skinnier?
3) Although people don’t mind calling me out on being skinny, no one seems to have the guts to say to someone chubby, fat or obese, “Holy crap, you’re like a [insert simile for something big]!” or “Oh my god! You’re effing fat!! Stop eating so much!!” or even “Do you ever stop eating??!”
Not to say that it doesn’t happen at all in the world. I know people do say that because I’ve witnessed people having to hear those sorts of comments before.. but that was when I was younger. I’ve hardly ever seen that as I get older though. Is it because once everyone starts to age, most people start to gain weight themselves and therefore, do not want to bring attention to the fact that they themselves are not skinny anymore?
There were so many times where I’d take off a sweater or jacket and someone always had to say that I’m skinny and that I should eat more. When bigger people take off their jacket should I comment, “Wow, you’re huge. You should lose some weight”? Of course not, I’d seem like a skinny bitch. And what would they know?
Although being skinny has its problems, it never has as much spotlight as people trying to lose weight. It’s a struggle for skinny girls too because we have to struggle to stay within the line of what people consider healthy skinny and too skinny. Some of us, including me, do not actively watch what we eat. We do not try to keep ourselves skinny, but we still get mean remarks. Do people assume that just because we’re skinny we starve ourselves???
I can’t say that I haven’t been affected by what others have said. So I’ve tried a couple times to gain weight. It’s funny because when I told some guy friends that I’m trying to gain weight they gave me funny looks. They exclaimed, “Why would you do something like that? That’s stupid, I’ve never heard of a girl saying that they want to gain weight, only lose weight.” Like I’ve said, those of us that want to try and gain weight have never had much spotlight when it comes to weight problems. They told me my weight was perfect for my size and I think that their reassurance really helped boost my confidence.. because I’ve mostly stopped caring about my weight.
I hope other people realize that they shouldn’t be so scared of what others may think when it comes to their weight. If you want to lose weight, do it because you want to be healthier. The same goes for gaining weight. Don’t do it to satisfy other people’s thoughts of what a perfect weight is. You’ll never please everyone!
Something else that bugs me is the fact that some girls – maybe in an effort to console themselves – like to put down skinny girls. I saw it again recently in some comments that people left on a Tumblr photo I uploaded of Remi Sakamoto. In the photo there’s a bigger girl dressed in cutesy clothes and someone said this is why they would not dress like that. They did not want to look as awkward as the girl in the photo. Someone replied with, “Fuck that skinny bitch…” What??? The reason why I feel offended is because of the fact that suddenly being skinny is a crime. All of a sudden, all the girls stand united to put down the skinny girl. Aren’t you just as bad as the people who gang up against fat people? What makes you so high and mighty?
I just really wish everyone would not be so judgmental about other people’s weight and being so quick to put others down because of it. You don’t know what the person’s going through and they have a hard enough time dealing with it without others putting them down.